As 27 is approaching, that overwhelming feeling of “not having it all figured out” is creeping up on me. A few weeks ago I was having breakfast with my parents and my dad asked about my work. Specifically, what I was doing to work up within my company. My dad has always been that way with everything I do in life. He’s always asking how I can do and be better. So I went on to tell him about some projects I was taking on and how that would help take me to the next level or essentially to the department I want to end up in.
As we were having this conversation, I couldn’t help but think about my career. The career of my dreams and the person I wanted to be. That person was a journalist. I had all these dreams after high school that didn’t happen for various reasons, one of them becoming a mom pretty young. But now, that little miss Leya is 5, it has sparked the idea of maybe going back to college to finish what I know would fulfill me as an individual.
I kept trying to wrap my head around this idea, and was actually quite excited. Then reality set in. I have several projects coming up at work which will entail me working late, getting home to cook dinner at most likely 6:30-7pm, homework time with Leya, potential baths, partner/spouse time and convos, blogging, and somewhere in there squeeze in going back to college and sitting down in a classroom or doing this online at home with a toddler-yeah…no.
So of course, anxiety and sadness kicked in. I could feel my heart beating faster and this unsettling feeling of un-accomplishment. Feeling so lost and wondering why I’m almost 30 and I don’t have my life together. Well, the truth is I actually do have my life together, but the unrealistic connotations associated with “having it all figured out” are what sinks in our subconscious making us think that we have done absolutely nothing worth that accomplishment feeling. And secondly, it’s OKAY to not have it all figured out all the time. That is the true wonder of life to me, yes have plans and goals but also uncovering some of those as you go.
You know that saying, celebrate all the small victories? It’s SO TRUE! I say it all the time to you guys that sometimes I forget to tell myself. It’s like girl before preaching to the choir, do it! lol. I’ve realized that I don’t give myself enough credit which is the main driver for making me feel like I don’t have my life together. So how can I change that? The only way I could think of was writing it down. I started on Monday (11/11). I set a notebook and pen on my bedside table and set an alarm in my phone to remind me to write my accomplishments for the day. And you know what ya’ll? I felt so darn proud!
You will not have it all figured out all the time. You will struggle, it will be hard, but there’s seasons for everything and everything happens for a reason. I encourage you to try writing your accomplishments at the end of the day and give yourself the grace you in all honesty deserve.
Till’ the next post!