Inner Thoughts

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guadalupemagos

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The light at the end of the tunnel.✨ ☆ In the midst of these hard and trying times, I'm trying to do my part by learning and educating myself on things I thought I already knew. Turns out there's much I still didn't know. I've doing much more grounding and soul searching because I still can't seem to understand why some people are the way they are. It's all very sad, emotionally draining, angering, and frustrating. So I'm really focusing my heart and mind on the redeeming and forgiving side of things. ☆ We have been doing bible study every night instead of every few days + I've really been digging deep in my to life, the world, and how to have the strength to keep going. I pray that times get better for our brothers + sisters. I pray that we can continue to unite as a nation to contribute to a better tomorrow. I find comfort in knowing HE is always there to gives us strength, power, and the ability to pursue anything our hearts desire. Yes we can, with Him as our guiding light we can do it all!

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The smile that fixes everything. ♡ • I've been trying to stay abstinent from posting about the troubles of the world. Not because I'm not up to speed or because I'm not worried. Fact is, I am worried. I worry about her future. • I worry about what tomorrow might bring + not being able to always keep her under my wing to protect her. I worry that my brown child will face obstacles in life for the simple fact she is brown. • When I saw the video I posted on stories about that little girl speaking up about her feelings about the injustice of the world I cried for a while. She's probably just a few years older than my Leya. Already worried, anxious, and distraught by the problems of the world because for her there wasn't an option. There's no shelter, no hiding it. Her parents just like the other hundreds of thousands of parents had to have "the talk" with her for the simple color of their skin. Why!🥺 Why at such young age is she worried about the color of her skin when all she should think about is being a kid. • My heart aches to see how the impact of sin in racism and inequality floods our day to day. We are all children of God and there is no us vs them, them vs us, right or wrong way, there is only God's way. The peace, equality, and respect is long over due for our black brothers and sisters and as a nation we MUST stop this. *Matthew 22:36 speaks of the second commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself," and as a society we have failed at that. There's no waiting anymore, there's no room for turning a blind eye. It starts with us, at home, with our children and how we will upbring them and how we raise them. It is for them! • • No matter how big or how small your your platform is, SPEAK UP! BLACK LIVES MATTER ! Listen and be educated. Sign the petitions and donate. Let's build a better tomorrow + future for our children. They are worth it.✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 • #blacklivesmatter #tuluchaesmilucha #standwithourblackbrothersandsisters

Life has been a blur ; • Very personal (and perhaps confusing) post ahead. For the past few weeks I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me but not.... It's like I know something's wrong, but I don't fight hard enough to know what is. Some days I have really good moments and I feel all this energy to clean, create, cook, etc and other days I'm so anxious that I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. Yet I still push through that. I don't know why it's so hard for me to take a moment process my emotions and do nothing. It's like I shake it off but deep down it's still there. • Some days I plan my day down to what I'll eat just ensure I get it done. Then other days I blink and half of the day is gone. I work, I cook (sometimes) and I just lounge. It's as if I've lost connection with myself and I don't know why or how. ~ • I took a break earlier to read my bible and journal for a moment. I just skimmed my notes inside of it mainly and I felt good. I felt more myself. I've lost connection with everything since the pandemic happened and reading through my bible helped me ground myself more. It reminded me of how perfecrly imperfect I am, that I am loved, that God can take all these anxious moments and thoughts away if I just seek him. I feel lost at times you guys, I feel misunderstood, alone, confused, frustrated and maybe so do you. I've been trying to express my feelings more on paper first and then with Byron or a family member. ~ • During situations like this is so easy to feel alone and misunderstood but know that even though it may seem that way, you're not. People keep saying check on your friends/family. But before you do, check in with YOURSELF. Talk to yourself. Ask yourself how you're really doing and please do something about it. Speaking up is the biggest reliever. Reassurance is something we all love because it tells us we're doing the right things no matter what that looks like, for me seeking God has brought me that peace + reassurance. It might look different for you. Whatever it is, do it because you're worth it. ♡

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